I wrote a letter to my first-born son, Knox, in the journal I've kept since before he was born. Before you go thinking I'm some crazy good "journaler," please know that I lost the journal for about a year so there is a significant time lapse in entries. I did complete his baby book in time for his second birthday, only because it was a super simple book to fill out (shameless plug: available in Rosebuds). I am copying the letter here so if the journal gets misplaced again, maybe one day an adult Knox Knierim might Google his name and find this blog. Just maybe.

Dear Knox, 

Thank you for making me 'mama' and loving me just the way you do. You completed me in a way I didn't know possible and truly gave my life a purpose. You've shown me so much grace as we navigated the early days together and loved me so completely even on the days where I feel that I've failed in motherhood. You are the sweetest and most loving little guy - mixed with just the right amount of "boy." You are funny and charismatic and (mostly) so joyful.

I'm so thankful God picked me for you. 

In just two weeks or less, you won't be my "baby" anymore. I am soaking up every morning I get to wake you up and still look at you as the sweet, tiny 5 lb baby I brought home. I am taking every "nuggle" I can get of just you and I think you are reaalllly enjoying how much we've been doing exactly what YOU want for the last month or so - just wondering if it will be our "last Sunday of just us three." 

As much as this transition scares me and makes me completely emotional, I am so excited to watch you become a "big brother" and know you will be the very best one! Your sister will quickly become your first best friend and forever playmate. I can't wait to watch you two grow up together and soak in all of your sweet little years. I especially can't wait to watch you protect her for years to come.

So, Knox, I hope you know that God sent you to me first for a reason. He knew I needed YOU to teach me about motherhood and boy....have you taught me some things! I'm so glad it was you. 

You are the best and I am the luckiest. I love you to the moon and back, sweet boy!

Love,

Mama